Last week, at a New Moon Meditation gathering lead by my favorite set of Sister Healers, I ended up chatting a little bit with a woman who was new to “this stuff”. She courageously shared this with me as we sat to wait for our mini healings/readings after the healing meditation, her sense that “something” or “someone” possibly her “Spirit Guides” were trying to communicate with her, but did not know how to listen nor did she feel she could trust the message. Today, another woman I was chatting with via Instagram, shared the same concern. That she knew she was tapping into something but that she was often too scared to allow herself to “go there”.
Why are we so scared to "go there"?
Here’s what I have come to learn throughout my Awakening process. And it may be slightly unique because my training has been in treating trauma from a mental health perspective before I began doing energy work in the form of Reiki.
Everything “Spirit” is so ambiguous to most of us. It falls in the Unknown and Unseen of life. There is often, unless you are Clairvoyant or Clairaudient, not a whole lot of tangible validation. We are taught that Science must prove something in order for it to be true and that we can’t prove what we cannot hear, see, taste, smell, or touch. But many of us can FEEL something to be true, or SENSE or KNOW something without having any real physical evidence. But TRUST is so much more difficult to settle into at times because of how we are conditioned.
A history of Traumatic and Stressful Experiences impacts our ability to Trust what we know, feel or sense to be happening.
We Humans have long histories of trauma as we have evolved on this planet (e.g. wars, famine, death, disease, rape, slavery, murder, etc.). Intergenerationally, because of nature (epigenetics) and nurture (family patterns, beliefs, and attachment styles) these trauma histories pass on down the line until we become aware enough and attentive enough to change the cycle. These patterns embedded both physically and through learning, create vulnerabilities in us as well as protective and defensive styles of relating with others that can put us or others at risk, in the worst sense, harming others or being harmed only continuing the cycle. It all becomes our Blueprint for living in and surviving this world. It becomes our embodied experience on this Earth. These experiences encode in our body's DNA to enhance survival.
Here’s what Trauma / Extreme Stress does to our bodies:
Science has now proven what we in the New Age / Metaphysical communities knew to be true all along, that Trauma does in fact become stored in the body. And from a metaphysical perspective, not only in our body but in our energy bodies, in our emotional bodies, and our spiritual or etheric bodies. Our experiences of trauma get recorded in such a way that if we were ever in danger again we could survive and protect ourselves. Unfortunately, we have experienced so much intense stress and numerous traumas that go unresolved or repaired that our bodies are in a constant state of protection and defense (“Fight, Flight, Freeze” response). Anything that could potentially signal a threat, our biology fires up all the stress hormones to Act and act Fast without anywhere for all of that excess energy to go when it is all over. When we are in this state everything (all of our senses) becomes heightened, but if the stress is heightened long enough it eventually dissociates or numbs to keep us alive. Many of us have had to dissociate and numb out on some level to keep going.
Here’s where I believe Trauma keeps us from accessing, or at least Trusting, our innate gifts of Intuition and Connection to Spiritual Guidance or Accessing the Unseen forces of Source, God, Universal Energy and causes us to be Terrified of what is happening when we do get a glimmer of the connection:
In order to truly “tune in” to Spirit Energies we have to be able to allow ourselves
1) To relax and surrender to not controlling the experience
2) To connect deeply into our body’s experience of the energies
3) To learn to listen, hear, and feel all of what comes through or comes up
4) To stay present enough in the moment to not disconnect from the energies or the experience as it is happening.
Because of high amounts of stress and trauma in our histories – our bodies, brains, and energy bodies have developed in such a way that these things are so difficult to do without becoming triggered in some way.
Think of it this way – Have you ever had a car accident and then when you do get back on the road, you are Super sensitive to any chance that someone might hit your again or you might hit someone else and tense up, maybe honk your horn a little too quick, drive much slower than you would typically do, or avoid certain routes just so you don’t have to feel or experience any of it? It all recorded within your being, your body, to prevent it from happening again.
Now enters Spirit – You get a tingle in your body, a flutter in your heart, a buzzing around your head, a ringing in your ears, a shadow out of the corner of your eye, a flicker in your mind, hear a voice, sense a message, see a face pop into your mind that may or may not look “weird”. For those of us who have experienced trauma or high amounts of stress (which happens to be most of us unfortunately) are going to immediately go to “worst case scenario”. Wonder if you are sick, if you are crazy, if you are in danger, if you made it up, if your body isn’t working right, or as the movies teaches us - are being haunted. You will ultimately doubt (i.e. not Trust) your experience. You get stuck there for fear of what might happen. Media has also prevented us from actually seeing that all of these things are in fact, harmless. But I won’t go into the Conspiracy Theories here about why this is what we are shown in the media.
We can all tune into Spirit and receive messages and guidance. We can all access and utilize Healing energies from Source / God. But for the majority of us, we need to deal with our Shadows. We need to sometimes get a qualified healer, coach, or mental health professional to help us work through our automatic reactions and triggers and understand where they are coming from so we can learn to trust ourselves and our experiences. So we can actually receive and decipher the message. So we can discern what is right for us and honor what we are feeling to be true that isn’t clouded by trauma and stress, or at the very least clouded by the need for someone else to tell us what's true.
Now I do know some people are just born with their filters blown wide open or even partially open so that these esoteric and phenomenological experiences just happen regardless of how scared they are or triggered. Some of us are just more sensitive to the energies and see differently, but that does not mean that if you don’t that you don’t “have the gift”. And that does not mean, that if you can’t SEE it, it is not True. Learning to love yourself unconditionally and trust yourself, this includes trusting the messages felt by your body primarily, will assist you in developing a deep and strong connection to your Intuition and your Higher Self, Spirit, and Source.
It’s not always about predicting the future. This can potentially change with every choice you make. What doesn’t change though is that you are a piece of Spirit living in a physical body to experience this physical and material reality. Living in this level of density allows us to access the densest of energies to break them down, heal them, understand them, embrace them, and no longer be afraid of them.
Comment below about what you think of this post. I would love to hear about your more esoteric or phenomenological experiences that you once found or do find it hard to trust that they were or are actually happening. How do you experience Spirit energies? Do you See, Hear, Sense, Know, or Feel? Can you physically make things happen? When we open up to share these experiences we call in the validation to trust them to be Real.
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Angela is a MN Licensed Mental Health Therapist and Usui Reiki Master. She has a deep personal commitment to Spiritual Growth and continuous Awakening and is always striving to support you in as many ways as she can to finding creative ways for Connecting Soul To Source.